Writing is my art, my dance.

That’s not me in the photo. She looks like someone I used to know. Have you seen her?

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I’m in search of the perfect espresso. The one pictured isn’t it. I did make it, though. Drink up.

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If you do anything while here, smile. Or see my reviews. Or fall in love. Or buy Groucho Marx Glasses.

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Who Is Brockeim?

There are millions of reviewers on Amazon.com. None write like Brockeim.

Brockeim has an amazing worldview. He sees something beautiful in everyday items. Sometimes sad, but more often sweet, he reviews household items with a fond smile. Thousands of customers at online retailer Amazon.com have enjoyed his tales involving coffee pots, corncob holders and butter keepers. Quoted globally from technology writer David Pogue to Forrester Research, to blogs across the Internet, readers are amused at his reviews and book related parodies.

A self-described sensualist and unapologetically sentimental, he approaches most pieces asking the question, “What do I feel?” Like an Impressionist painter, he delivers that feeling indirectly, surrounding each piece in colorful vignettes. In his reviews, he examines the interaction of the five senses, like the sound of a knife scraping across a slice of toast, or the glint of a shiny chocolate wrapper.

Or he focuses on texture, as he does to begin his review of a well-known nutritional drink: “Smoothly poured, and smoothly swallowed, this delicate chocolate drink danced in daylight, a creamy delight, as if to tease me, please me into a heightened awareness of all that is succulent and good. And, mmm, it was and is good, this chocolate Slim Fast.”

His Style

He’s reviewer and positive satirist looking at the art form of reviewing. He asks what else a product can be. Ordinary household goods become agents of romance (rated G & PG), or fix daily troubles.

Then, there are his Bits of Nonsense non sequiturs that sound somewhere between Steven Wright and Jack Handy.

Why This Style?
“I had been buying products on Amazon.com for years, and thought so many of the reviews had no style.” With a background in classic literature and poetry, Brockeim realized his skill was neither in political humor or biting one-liners, but in developing ambiance and mood.

And by the way, spell it B-R-O-C-K-E-I-M, not Brockiem, Brockhiem, or Brockheim. No h is pronounced. Like: BROCK-I’m.

Take a look, and see for yourself. Maybe you will smile while sipping your next cup of coffee.


Do This…

Look around. Smell each page. Touch the screen. Taste the world.