The Best Cafes

The Best Cafes sometimes serve the worst coffee, bringing in the fullness of humanity. They are where you go to meet your friends. There are no tourists at these places. There is no ambiance that...

Jerks, Milk, Boxers

Just because someone is a jerk doesn't mean they are wrong. Milk takes the bitterness from coffee. Why are wallets called wallets, and boxers called boxers? Browse the Blog

These Days, Let’s Smile

These days... these days... these days... smile.  look at these days, and these days, we need gentle, knowing friendships more than ever, as much as always. That's what I love to encourage. Today, I...

Rereading Rostand: A True Tale of Hasty Love in a Bookstore With Cyrano

I am rereading an English translation of Edmond Rostand's play "Cyrano de Bergerac." I recently reviewed the 1950 movie, and was hungry for more. I first read it quickly in an antiquarian bookseller...

Welcome to Brockeimia

Welcome to Brockeimia. My world. self-indulgent, celebrating what I like, as I like, when I like. What's here is what's here, as I hope to lift your head and your smile for no other purpose than...

84, Charing Cross Road

Friendship with Depth and Love

In these days of e-books, and bland books constructed from franchised ideas and formulas, we are presented 84 Charing Cross Road, a story about a relationship begun because of a mutual love of old great books.

Anthony Hopkins and Anne Bancroft share a film highlighting both of their genuine personas.

Like Hopkins in Shadowlands and The Remains of the Day, we see him in full glory, as a quiet man of grace and sophistication.

He owns the English bookstore, and Bancroft’s character mails him a request for a book.

Correspondence and a relationship begins. Contently and confidently married, Hopkins responds as an older brother might, and the two grow to cherish each other despite the distance.

As they…

Served Hot


Brockeim Argues Humor, Romance and Monkeys

Brockeim Argues Humor, Romance and Monkeys

My agent can be hard on me sometimes. She expects me to crank out funny things each day. She's critical when I drink coffee, and she's just as critical when I want to stop by the pub. It's difficult. Deadlines, monkeys, coffee, and an agent who never lets up. If I were younger, I'd scream "child-labor!" but that's not an option. Though, if I were underage to work, I'd be more precocious. This is...

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Seeing Beauty; Seeing Hope

Seeing Beauty; Seeing Hope

I have been told I see things always brightly, that I see the beauty in everything. If you read my tales, almost all are filled with bliss and hope. Even the saddest ones are bereft of cynicism. I think this is true. I am hopeful, even when my day is low. I have known difficult days, but what I see... what I wish you and everyone could see, is not just the light shining at the end of the tunnel,...

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Moving Forward

Moving Forward

I believe Roy Orbison. He's real. Bruce Springsteen is just a singing actor. I'm watching them both sing "Pretty W0man."  The Boss has some great songs but he poses too much. The late Roy feels real...

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I write a lot about romance. I love love. I love romance. I also love, "Love your neighbor." Some of you are nodding your head. Good. Keep working on it. Some of you are saying, "I do it, but those...

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

It is never cliche to wish anyone a Merry Christmas. While this is not a religious blog, please allow me to indulge in saying this day reminds me that the God I believe was born humble, in uncertain...

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Who Is Brockeim?

There are millions of reviewers on None write like Brockeim.

Brockeim has an amazing worldview. He sees something beautiful in everyday items. Sometimes sad, but more often sweet, he reviews household items with a fond smile. Thousands of customers at online retailer have enjoyed his tales involving coffee pots, corncob holders and butter keepers. Quoted globally from technology writer David Pogue to Forrester Research, to blogs across the Internet, readers are amused at his reviews and book related parodies.

A self-described sensualist and unapologetically sentimental, he approaches most pieces asking the question, “What do I feel?” Like an Impressionist painter, he delivers that feeling indirectly, surrounding each piece in colorful vignettes. In his reviews, he examines the interaction of the five senses, like the sound of a knife scraping across a slice of toast, or the glint of a shiny chocolate wrapper.

Or he focuses on texture, as he does to begin his review of a well-known nutritional drink: “Smoothly poured, and smoothly swallowed, this delicate chocolate drink danced in daylight, a creamy delight, as if to tease me, please me into a heightened awareness of all that is succulent and good. And, mmm, it was and is good, this chocolate Slim Fast.”

His Style

He’s reviewer and positive satirist looking at the art form of reviewing. He asks what else a product can be. Ordinary household goods become agents of romance (rated G & PG), or fix daily troubles.

The precise style may change review-to-review. Occasionally romantic. Other times, nostalgic. Sometimes, whimsy. Whether joyful or melancholic, these are amazing looks at life and products.

Then, there are his ‘Bits of Nonsense’ non sequiturs that sound somewhere between Steven Wright and Jack Handy.

Why This Style

“I had been buying products on for years, and thought so many of the reviews had no style.”

With a background in classic literature and poetry, Brockeim realized his skill was neither in political humor or biting one-liners, but in developing ambiance and mood.

And by the way, spell it B-R-O-C-K-E-I-M, not Brockiem, Brockhiem, or Brockheim. No h is pronounced. Like: BROCK-I’m.

Take a look, and see for yourself. Maybe you will smile while sipping your next cup of coffee.

Georges Braque


King of This Hill


Writing is my art, my dance.


I’m in search of the perfect espresso. Brown and beautiful. Drink up.


If you do anything while here, smile. Or see my reviews. Or fall in love. Or buy Groucho Marx Glasses.

Do This…

Look around. Smell each page. Touch the screen. Taste the world.

Some of the links on are affiliate links from which I receive a small commission from sales of certain items. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you!

(c) copyright 2023

Are we down here? There’s nothing to see. Well, since you are here, “My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains.” John Keats wrote that.