Excellent Gift!

Buy now: http://cafepress.com/brockeimcoffee

Books are good food. wash them down with coffee.

In your life, and in mine, are coffee lovers and book lovers. Librarians, teachers, students, editors, writers, and that friend you always see huddled with a book on the train or in the cubicle next to yours. It might even be a pastor, priest or rabbi you want to simple say thanks to.

Priced cheap for Christmas (the mug pictured is just $11.49!), there are tons of mugs, t-shirts, bumper stickers and more.

Be Impressed.

  • Twitter: @Brockeim. Get a daily chuckle.
  • Facebook: New Page! Brockeim
  • Reviews and Romantic Ponderings: Read the luxury of love in ordinary life.
  • Coffee Love: Blog for coffee lovers: pictures, stories, reviews, poems, videos.
  • New York Times technology writer David Pogue chose one of my bits of nonsense for his book The World According to Twitter. Read more.
  • Cartoonist Wanted: Artist who gets the coffeehouse art ambiance and the pretense of the dinner conversation in the movie "My Dinner With Andre." Understands how one-panel cartoons "Love Is", "Frank and Ernest" and "Herman" can thrive with few characters and non sequitur wit. Contact me.
reviews, romance and coffee

Recent Reviews/Posts
Sat, 03 Nov 2018 04:43:45 +0000


Nov 02, 2018 09:08PM

These Days, Let's Smile

These days... these days... these days...

I look at these days, and these days, we need a gentle smile, a knowing smile more than ever, as much as always. That's what I love to encourage.

I've been quiet. My blogs are filled with broken links. My website hasn't been reasonably updated in years. 

Today, I received an email reminding me people need those smiles.

I don't care what divides you. I just want you to smile. I think you do too.

I have work to do. Join me.

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now.
--The Youngbloods.

Jun 22, 2018 07:51AM

400 Amazon Reviews

It has been a long, strange trip. I apparently have posted 400 reviews on Amazon (Ammy).

I encourage you to check them out. Lately, I must say, they've been dreadfully and sadly ordinary. A good Brockeimic review hasn't been posted in too long.

The best ones are whimsical, playful, and sometimes, even a little flirtatious.

Some hearken back to a childhood romance. Others are more about love gone wrong. Many include the joys of simpler, playground days.

400 reviews. 400. Four hundred. That's a lot to me.

While Amazon gives me some free things (I pay tax on them), most are things I bought. None were paid for (those whores!), and there was no other sort of quid pro quo as so often infects reviewing these days.

Find me here. Contact me if you like. I don't answer most emails (I don't want your website development skills or scam business loans).


Jan 17, 2017 08:26AM

Facebook, New and Improved

I'm received countless emails asking if all is well in the Brockeim Kingdom. Things have been quiet, it is true, but only because I'm lost in a café finding charm and sweetness in the coffee as well as the guests.

All is indeed well. In fact, better than ever. Last month, I launched a Facebook page. Please, visit and like the page. Say hello, too. I love getting to know new people. Occasionally, I've met in person or sent coffee to brighten readers' days.

I'm returning to writing reviews, remembering old stories of childhood, and seeing romance in the moment.

If you want to really be nice, share one of the posts on your own Facebook page and Twitter. I'm on Twitter too. Tag #brockeim and I'll do my best to retweet.

Nov 06, 2016 07:16PM

Political Poem: To Vote or Not To Vote

Political Poem: To Vote or Not To Vote

Rubber dub duck,
this election's all clucked.
There's a liar over here,
another wants to grope your underwear.
I'm gonna say this once,
I'm gonna say it thrice,
Neither person is looking very nice.
But I'm gonna vote,
that's what I'm gonna do.
I ain't gonna judge if you don't too.
I'm not picking him,
and I'm not picking her.
I'm picking someone.
I'm not sure who.


Jun 20, 2015 09:24AM

Finds Storied Romance and Forgets Coffee Spills: Red Metal Chair review

Watch me tell the story of the red metal chair. Not a sexy story, but completely romantic. Maybe the strangest video you will watch this hour.

Left like a teardrop at the bottom of my empty cup was the last reminder of a morning to remember. It is noon now, and I am just up from where I sat since dawn, where I sipped coffee and read.

A good chair forgets itself, and the one sitting forgets the chair. And so I did. Thumbing through old magazines, reading yesteryear's news, hours passed. Music, romance and poetry all passed before me this morning in the chair. As I read, Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough" played everywhere. Audrey Hepburn's second husband died. A book about Pablo Neruda, "Ardiente Paciencia," was published.

The chair survived honorably a coffee spill, wiping clean with a towel. Unstained yet willing to take on harsh weather, the chair has served me through many more sunrises, and will be here for ten thousand more.

As I finished my drink, the sun lifted, and the breeze of morning became the hot wind of summer. Uncomfortable for reading, I pushed the chair against the wall, ready for tomorrow.

May your lawn chairs, like this Red Retro Metal Lawn Chair, meet you daily to greet the day, and to wander with you through many a volume of forgotten lore.


Buy Now

Read Brockeim's homage to Edgar Allan Poe's poem Raven in his parody The Beauty (the usual lost love thing).

Discover 25 unusual uses for string.

Singalong with his whimsical lambaste of Amazon reviewers in a parody Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven: Stairway to Amazon (Harriet Klausner/Lawrance Bernabo readers take note).

The Reviews
What does a Dirt Devil have to do with an evening of romance? What about a Proctor Silex Coffee Maker (the grief!)? What romantic tragedy involves a box of #10 envelopes?

See Brockeim's Reviews on Amazon.com.